---> Ooooooh. That sounds like Spiderman.

"You can walk away and say we don't need this, but there's something in your eyes that says we can beat this. Cause these things will change. We can feel it now"
- Change by Taylor Swift

I left high school in a blur, and I don't know how to love college. But since, it's still summer, I can still sulk before it starts.

5 THINGS I WILL MISS IN HIGH SCHOOL

1. My jolly, good, momentarily fake friends. To tell you honestly, I am scared of going to a place not knowing anybody. As much as it's possible, I want to bring a friend along with me on my journey to the future. Pero para saan nga naman ang independence and 'moving forward' ko if I have to stick with the same people, diba? I'll just miss everyone. Super. The laughs, the crazy crankiness, almost everything. Some of them I have been classmates with since grade school so it's pretty a hassle to present myself again, for a long time had passed since I've done it to anyone. It worries me to think that I'll be making introductory lines again, make lasting impressions, and find replacements for my goody-good friends in the meantime.

2. The autochthonous environment. If the big four universities are just here in Subic Bay.. If there were just bigger possibilities here, I would prefer to study here. Honestly. Sa totoo lang, there is something in Manila that tells me "Don't Go". Hindi ko alam kung ready na ba ako to separate myself from home at kung ituturing ba akong anak ni Manila. Manila might be harsh on me or anything. Pero, I got no more choice. It is the best place for me to be someday's best. I have to bear with all the consequences for a good college learning. Takot din lang akong masagasaan! HAHA. Takot ako sa mga eskinita at masisikip na lugar. Ayoko din sa lugar na may crowd. AHAY. Talking about my fears, madami pa kong kinatatakutan. Eh kasi naman, comparing Olongapo to Manila, it's like Earth to the sun. Big differences talaga.

3. My parents' strict collar. As a teenager, I used to get pissed at my parents because they never allow me on any gimmick with my friends. I used to hate it when they won't allow me to stay outside the house until 5 in the afternoon (Imagine a 5PM curfew!), when my classmates are allowed till 10. I also wept on the fact that my friends were present in our beach closing party, when I wasn't allowed to go because they say it's not safe. I should also ride the school bus going to school and going home, because they were afraid that I might get an accident if I'll just go by myself. But as time passed, everything changed. I am now allowed to go wherever I want, with a curfew not as strict as 4PM like they do before. I can now attend night parties in our school without crying to them. I can now go to sleepovers without sobbing a tear. I can now stay outside, whenever I can. I now have a choice to not ride the school bus in going home from school. I've gotten everything I wanted before. It is fun, but I miss them being THAT strict. I think it's a sign that I am growing up. They have to let me go at some point that I have to learn things on my own. I am not the little girl anymore who deserved the Stop, Look and Listen advice when crossing. I know that it's hard for my dad to let me go, since I am the only girl, but HE HAS TO. Wala din pala silang choice in the end.

4. Dependence. A BIG WORD I AM LEARNING NOT TO HANDLE. I just realized that even in just the small things, I already have to learn how to decide for myself. Not like before that I have to trust everything to my parents, now, I have a right to not agree with them, especially that it's my life on the line. I can consult them, pero hindi na yung type na iaasa ko sa kanila lahat. I have to admit that this will be very hard for me. Marami man akong natutunan na ways on how to be independent, hindi ko pa totally kaya na wala mommy ko beside me. (I am not the only one feeling this, am I?) In simple things like walking my own documents or enrolling myself, I can't see myself accomplished. HAHA. Hindi padin ako sanay na walang mom and dad to complete everything for me. So, I really have to start adapting myself to my should-be life in college.

5. The comfort of being home with my brothers. That is one thing I will totally miss. I will be staying in a condo unit in Manila with my mom, and hindi ako sanay na wala yung mga kapatid ko to add worry and wrinkle in my mom's forehead. I will miss the fact that there are evident existences in my life that at some point in time will bug me out of my senses. My brothers were always there to piss me off when I'm totally stressed out, to tease me when I am in my depressing state, and to share ice cream with me when I don't want to. I will also miss that there are punks who will try to steal the computer from me!! I will miss their evil doings and my drive to kill them especially when they connive! I will also miss how more evil they can still get, when I share a secret to them and they will start ruining my life by telling it to my dad. Talk about blackmail. We also have this quality bonding before going to bed, that we just talk and reminisce moments in our childhood life, until we all fell asleep. Most of all, I will miss their cockiness and their laughter. I would definitely find it in Manila. I will surely find their presence whenever I'm back from school. I will also miss my bed nga pala! Mamimiss ko din ang mga Sunday nights namin na barbecue night with ice cream after. (I began to miss my dad tuloy. He's in Africa kasi.) SAD, but again, THIS HAS TO HAPPEN. Magiging exciting siguro ang bawat pag-uwi at pagkikita namin.

I can't wait to miss them, and then see them. I am looking forward to that. :)

Labels: high school, life