Because when you see my blog with a new post, it's like rain in a drought. :))
So, this morning, I cut my PE classes because I was feeling bad, in the stomach's point of view. And yeah, I don't want to churn down new Judo techniques and vomit it on the dojo seconds after so I refused to go! See, I'm improving my critical thinking with some new excuses! :)) This is what I have been learning so far in this blue planet! :)
SOME COLLEGIATE RANDOM STUFFS:
1. Gruta and Dissa has been teasing me to someone just because we have the same hair color! OHMYFG. :))
2. My red nail polish, I have been noticing, smells like mint! Is it my rocking nail polish, or is it just me and my failing nostrils??
3. I haven't seen my crush for a long time now! I don't know if I need to forget about him already, or just forget about forgetting about him. :))
4. I have been pissed by this bloated stomach since last night, I don't know what to do about it! I'm freakin' because I don't know if this IS normal starting today! My stomach skin feels like it's in its maximum stretch!! I can feel a baby inside of me, but a baby without a skull or something. :))
5. I still keep on eating despite #4. :|||
6. I ate yellow gingered chicken for lunch, which is CHICKEN CURRY, OH YES!, and ink-spurting sea animal balls for second lunch, also called SQUID BALLS, STUPID. :)))
Oh well, the main point of this post is because I want to share with you these cool statements about my English 11 teacher, Sir Max Pulan! He is an idol, I tell ya, apart from the fact that he is a Yale University scholar, according to my Lit 13 teacher. Even though he lets us write about all the difficult things in this world you won't even think that it really existed, he is still rock! So if you are not his student and I am, it's your loss and my C+!!! But anyways, you will be amused with what I will let you read because I can't imagine these people I share him with coming up with these too amazing words to describe him. (REALLY! I ENJOYED A LOT. LATER, I WILL MAKE MY OWN.) By the way, I got this in some Live Journal of an Ateneo student. Thanks to Zandra, for the awesome link! If ever someone who made/helped make this read this, then I give the credit to you, guys! I am not a fan of copycats and plagiarists, because Max Pulan taught me to do so! So, let the cajoling begin! :))
Max Pulan does not age, time avoids him because time is afraid of being analyzed.
Max Pulan was not born; he is spawned every morning and returns to the Dark Continent at night.
Max Pulan once analyzed God; this analysis is now called "the Bible".
Max Pulan does not read books. Books tell him what they are about on a half sheet of paper 6-8 sentences.
Max Pulan once decided to analyze himself. This event caused complete and utter darkness and God was forced to create the universe.
Max Pulan is Darth Vader's father.
When the Greeks snuck into Troy, they didn't know that a small wooden Max Pulan was being snuck into the Trojan Horse.
In the beginning, there was Max and it was GOoD.
Odysseus learned how to be clever after he got a C-plus in Max Pulan's class.
Max Pulan is The Stranger.
Max Pulan once had a wrestling match with T.S. Eliot. Eliot later wrote "The Wasteland".
The different authors of Western lit are just pseudonyms of Pulan.
There is no such thing as a Reset the Universe button. There's only pissing Pulan off.
Max Pulan was the sharpened stake that Odysseus drove into the Cyclops's eye.
Max Pulan turned 60 last month!
Pulan turned Calypso into a pig.
Pulan was once involved in a short fight with some Asians. We now know this as The Battle of Thermopylae.
Pulan caught Hephaestus from his fall.
Pulan can seduce Aphrodite with his smile.
Spartans claim they were descended from Heracles himself. In truth, they're descended from Max Pulan.
"Zeus" is just another name for "Pulan".
Pablo Neruda wrote the saddest lines in fear of Max Pulan's wrath.
Shakespeare wrote his plays after stealing Max Pulan's class notes.
Homer went blind because he dared to look at Pulan.
Sylvia Plath killed herself because Pulan broke up with her.
Max Pulan solved the sphinx's riddle.
Max Pulan built the wardrobe that opens into Narnia.
Max Pulan did not read all the books ever written. He WROTE them.
Max Pulan does not teach students; he allows them to learn.
Pulan once took a hiatus from teaching. This is called the Holocaust.
The Emperor is one of Max Pulan's primarchs.
Shakespeare wears tights because Pulan said to.
Max Pulan can cure cancer. (Taken twice before breakfast! *wink*) Too bad he's a Lit teacher.
There are no such thing as Orcs. Those are Max Pulan's boogers.
Max Pulan once spat on the ground. Tolkien called it Mordor.
Hemingway killed himself because Max Pulan gave him a bad review.
All the people who won the Nobel Prizes for Literature got their skills just by peeing next to Max Pulan.
One time, Max Pulan was in a French cafe. He tipped a waiter. Upon touching
Max Pulan's money, that man eventually wrote The Stranger.
Max Pulan was the real cause of the Trojan War.
Julia Roberts' famous smile is a mere paraphrase of Max Pulan's own.
Jimi Hendrix never smoked weed. He simply inhaled the air Max Pulan exhaled.
Jedi and Sith learn to utilize The Force. The Force learns how to beg for favors from Max Pulan.
Spartan spears were crafted from the toothpicks Max Pulan has used.
Max Pulan doesn't climb mountains. Mountains let him get up there out of fear.
Once, Max Pulan tried to skip a rock across a lake. We now know that rock as Mt. Taal.
An Italian man studied under Max Pulan long ago. We now know that man as Don Vito Corleone.
When a solar eclipse occurs, that's actually the sun shielding itself from the glare of Max Pulan's pearly-white smile.
There was only one time wherein Max Pulan taught comics as an elective, and only three students managed to pass that class. We now know them as Alan Moore, Neil Gaiman and Mike Carrey.
Mephistopheles has been tempted by Max Pulan.
Tsunamis are caused by Max Pulan doing the dog-paddle.
Even a Balrog would fall on to its knees when Max Pulan says to him, "You shall not PASS!!!"
God is love, therefore love is Pulan :D
"Like flies to wanton boys are we to you, Sir Pulan. You kill us for your sport."
Max Pulan was once a political detainee.
Confucius' Analects were dictated by Max Pulan.
Vishnu, Shiva and Brahman all worship Max Pulan.
Max Pulan inspired Osamu Tezuka to create Astroboy.
Walt Disney is the fruit of Max Pulan's spore.
Max Pulan is a spore.
Max Pulan is the real ruler of Sparta. Leonidas was just his shoe boy.
Max Pulan has daggers in his smile.
Nick Joaquin makes incredibly long sentences because Max Pulan told him to.
Franz Kafka exterminated a cockroach in Max Pulan's home. He then wrote Metamorphosis.
The pan de sal was Max Pulan's own holy bread. Everyone else just copied it.
Max Pulan used to make bombs. Now he's the bomb.
The Man of La Mancha chased windmills because he believed he could find Max Pulan on them.
There's a peak higher than Mt. Olympus. That's where Max Pulan resides.
Oscar Wilde had many tea parties with Max Pulan. All his wit actually were paraphrased from him.
The Nobel Prize scientists were under Pulan's English class.
Men turn into emo boys and slash their wrists when Max Pulan frowns at them.
Rub Max Pulan's belly for good luck.
God is "he-whom-nothing-more-cannot-be-thought". That means he's the Max.
Dumbledore was based on Max Pulan.
"Tilting at windmills" equates to "aspiring for an A in a Pulan exam."
Voldemort is also based on Max Pulan.
Max Pulan is Aliguyon.
Max Pulan flunked Rizal in English. That's why he writes in Spanish.
Max Pulan, Vince Serrano and Exie Abola are the real three wise men.
Max Pulan IS the word.
The Stone that was left behind in the Red Dust has been reborn in this generation. Its name is now Max Pulan, and it is looking for the Crimson Flower.
Chuck Norris cries when Max Pulan frowns at him.
The star on the top of the Christmas tree is supposed to symbolize Max Pulan.
Beethoven was a mad composer because he could only hear Max Pulan humming in his mind.
Boom! Tarat! Tarat! is Max Pulan's own composition for brainwashing the Filipino race. Wowowee stole it.
Optimus Prime is just Max Pulan in autobot form.
Max Pulan is the one.
He is immortal, born in the Highlands of Loyola four hundred years ago. He is not alone. There are others like him, some good, some evil. For centuries he has battled the forces of Darkness, with Holy Ground his only refuge. He cannot die, unless you take his head and with it, his power. In the end there can be only one. He is not Duncan MacLeod. He is Max Pulan, the Highlander.
SEE!! It can already fill a book and be a bestseller at the LS Bookstore! :))
Someday, I will also be described as that, mark my words! :))
My Ateneo life is just beginning. I would love to enjoy my stay to the fullest.
I am so tired of sulking and whining of being lonely, super-fail, and stupid.
Oh college, just wait for me! You might want me to bang you already! :)))
Labels: college, cool, teacher
